Saturday, January 26, 2013

Always again

Over at Lisa-Jo Baker's blog called Tales from a gypsy mama, she has a five minute challenge every Friday. Her topic this week is " again" Here goes..........

Those words again! That tone of voice used again! How I hate myself when I hear my voice and those words coming out of my mouth.

They are unkind, harsh, sarcastic, breaking down instead of building up. In the world outside my home those words would not be used and that tone of voice never heard. I seem to keep these specially for my family, these two beautiful children with gentle spirits, who are so easily bruised. A great husband who I should be thankful for and yet those words are used to break down and hurt and pick fights. Even the poor dog suffers on a bad day.

Why do I do this? I know better and each time I fail I feel more and more ashamed of myself.
This is when I turn to my Father, who knows the words come from feelings of inadequacy, fear, rejection and unsolved issues in my life. My Father holds out His loving arms and enfolds me as I sob into His chest, hearing as He has so many times before my regret at what I have said and done. He wipes my tears away, telling me He loves me and I am His child, made in His image, not yet perfect but a work in progress. And I can turn to those I love and ask forgiveness and start over  again...

5 comments:

  1. It sounds like the Lord is doing a similar work in both our hearts... Thanks for your transparency!

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  2. You are not alone in this work in progress, Lauren. And we can start over again and again. Blessings to you and your family. :)

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  3. Hi Lauren
    A bit late visiting from FMF, but I couldn't help but recall something I once read. We should not be to shocked about all our mistakes and our faults, for being aware of them is a sure sign that our Pappa God is busy changing us! Hope this helps a bit!
    Much love and a blessed week
    Mia

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  4. Sorry, I see you are also a South African. I stay in Gonubie, a few kilometers from East London.
    Mia

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