Monday, March 26, 2012
I am busy reading So long Insecurity by Beth Moore and something she said really hit home. I have felt that the past few years have been a long series of calamities and that I am just keeping my head above water. You name it,we've been there as a family. Beth Moore talks about people who are insecure experiencing dramatic change as a loss or instability. Well here I am , front and centre. Insecurity could be my middle name. This is what struck me. God uses change to change us into what He wants us to be. I cannot grow if I am stuck in one place. I do not like change. In my mind change equals loss. But isn't that what growth is. The loss of something in order to make way for something better. Should I not trust God with that loss so that He can complete the work He started in me? If I cannot trust God to move me where I need to be,who can I trust ?
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Today was a full day, the kind of day that other working moms would understand. Late for school (again), late for work(again), deadlines to complete as I try to finish up before leaving at the end of the month for a new job. No telephone lines at work for the ninth day running, so I cannot call clients or make court dates. A midday hail storm just as I am about to leave to fetch the children, so I have to wait until it is over in case the car stalls in the rain, as it did in last weeks rainstorm. Then two bright little faces rushing to hug mommy as I pick them up from school. We then go to granny and grandpa, where Noah fights with me for 15 minutes about getting him a map, which I promised him so that he could see where all the family live. Noah is a bit OC, so this is a theme for the rest of the afternoon. A good run on the lawn and a cuddle from the grandparents, then it's back home for supper and a quick wash before bedtime. Did I mention that the wash was with a facecloth and a jug of water, as I am too tired to do the whole bath routine tonight. Andrew rushes in, then out as he is going back to work. Mia ends the day with a backward fall off the bed. Finally it is bed time. I can catch my breath and wonder why I am doing this. Then I see two tired little bodies fast asleep in bed and remember the years of tears that I cried before they were born, thinking I would never have the privilege of being a mother. And I realise that full days like these are what make up the fabric of a life.