Wednesday, August 12, 2015

STOP and smell the roses

I have been reading quite a few blog posts on change and gratitude and the need to take breath. I normally lead a VERY busy life and have been burning the candle at both end ( and in the middle) for so long that I have forgotten how to stop. And breathe. And be thankful. And smell the roses, metaphorically speaking. So busy , in fact, that I neglected to take care of myself and am now flat on my back in bed until the middle of September or longer.

In November last year I damaged my Achilles tendon without realising it. A small niggle, left untreated, eventually got to the stage (six months later) where I could barely walk. I kept putting off going to the doctor in the vain hope that a)it would sort itself out and b) I did not have time to get sick or take off work. When finally got to the surgeon in June this year, the damage was so sever that my only option was surgery followed by six weeks bed rest. My surgery was done on 29 July but my body was so run down by that stage  that I spent  four days in hospital, instead of one or two.

So here I lie, with plenty of unplanned time to stop and rest. I have to rely on my amazing husband to care for me and our two little ones. I am very independent and am finding this very hard to do but I think this is part of God's plan for me to slow down and relinquish control. I now have time to just rest,pray and think. To catch up on my reading and handwork. To write letters and sleep. To focus on my children, my husband. And I am grateful.

I have been forced to stop. And the world has not collapsed. My job is there, my family is managing without me ( thanks to a lot of help from family and friends). It has been difficult for me to learn to rely on others but I know this dip in the road is being used by God to grow my character and to slow me down a bit so that I can focus and remember what is important. It has not been easy and I still have five more weeks in a cast before I can even think of getting up and running again. But it has been a time of slowing down and reflecting and remembering what is really important. Sometimes God needs to bring us to a complete STOP to get our attention and to start remembering again what is really important.